Suzumiya Haruhi's Fairy Tale
by Mademoiselle X
Summary: Once upon a time, in a kingdom far away, there lived a pretty weird princess named Suzumiya Haruhi...


**Disclaimer: I do NOT own the Suzumiya Haruhi novels, nor the anime or the manga. What I **_**do**_** own is this fanfic and the Ferrero Rochers chocolates on ****my desk, which I will **_**maybe **_**share with you if you review.**

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**CHAPTER 1: OPERATION SLEEPING BEAUTY**

_Little sis: Mom, are you going to tell me a bedtime story?_

_Mom: Not tonight, sweety. Ask your sister._

_Little sis: Sis, mom says you have to tell me a story._

_Mademoiselle X: I'm busy._

_Little sis: You're just laying on the sofa. Tell me a story or I'll tell mom._

_Mademoiselle X: Alright, alright, whatever…_

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Long, long time ago, in a far, far away country, there was a brat named Suzumiya Haruhi. She was the infamous and eccentric but beautiful princess of that kingdom. The inhabitants of that country were having problems with her because she kept making crop circles for some reason, thus ruining their harvest.

Thinking that marriage would better the princess' behavior and solve her problematic personality, the kingdom's government sent out ambassadors to neighboring nations to encourage princes to come and court the princess. Unfortunately, the princess mercilessly rejected all her suitors, putting them off with an odd reason that she wasn't interested in ordinary humans, that she would only accept proposals from magical beings, such as mermaids, witches and elves.

Feeling very frustrated, the royal council members all gathered at a meeting, which was led by a sneering bastard named Fujiwara, to discuss the unnatural and delinquent behavior of their princess. The evil-looking council leader proposed that if Princess Haruhi continues to destroy their crops, they would best put her asleep until the next harvest by putting some sleeping potion in one of her drinks. With this, the royal council members unanimously agreed.

"Let's call this operation _Sleeping Beauty_," said Fujiwara, that sneaky bastard.

At that time, Princess Haruhi sneaked into the building where they were holding the meeting and proceeded to abduct the poor guard named Kyon, who was standing guard outside the meeting hall.

First, she knocked him down with a flying kick to his head. Then she forcefully pressed a chloroform soaked rag on his open-mouthed face, which he nearly choked upon before falling unconscious. After that, she dragged him by his legs out of the building.

She had entered the building by climbing through a window, and since it would be boring to use the same method to escape, she recklessly decided to escape all the way to the main entrance and use some newly learned martial arts, which she had been itching to try it out on somebody, on anyone she meets on her way out.

You can imagine the expressions of the shocked royal council members when they saw the many beaten up bodies after their meeting.

Anyway, a few hours after his abduction, Kyon woke up and found himself chained with his arms against the wall.

"Good, you're awake."

Kyon looked up and saw a strikingly beautiful girl standing before him. He looked around and saw that he was in some kind of torture room.

"I was starting to get annoyed," continued the girl. "Honestly, how could you be unconscious for so long? I was already planning to use this to wake you up." She showed him a whip in her hand.

Feeling scared, Kyon asked, "Wh - who are you? And why am I chained here? What exactly do you want from me?"

"I am Princess Haruhi and I want you to tell me what the meddlesome fools of the royal council were discussing," said the girl.

"I can't tell you that," said Kyon, "It's confidential; I've been restricted not to tell anyone."

"Fine, I'll just whip it out of you," said Haruhi, uncoiling the whipcord.

"Wa – wait!" exclaimed Kyon. His country certainly had a very dangerous princess. "Okay, I'll tell you." So he told Haruhi all about the operation _Sleeping Beauty_.

"Those damn fools!" said Haruhi, unthinkingly whipping the floor and making Kyon shudder. "Fine, I'll just leave the palace. Even if I confront those idiots about their plans, they might still proceed with it. I can't let that happen. Sleeping till the next harvest would be a waste of time."

"What if you just act like a proper royalty and get married to a prince?" proposed Kyon. "I mean, why are you doing these things anyway?"

"With _"doing these things"_, you mean the crop circles? Those are to attract extraordinary beings," replied Haruhi. "As for your first question, don't you know that that would force me to lead a boring life? Besides I'm only interested in mermaids, witches and elves and stuff, and not in ordinary human princes."

Kyon frowned at her. "If you're looking for extraordinary people, you can find a dwarf in a village near the palace."

"You mean that Taniguchi guy?" said Haruhi, "He's just an idiot who had mistaken a Midget Mushroom for a so-called Pheromone Mushroom and shrank by eating it."

"Then what are you planning to do when you leave the palace?" asked Kyon.

"I'll roam the country in search for mermaids, witches and elves and play with them!" said Haruhi with great enthusiasm. "And you're coming with me!"

"Why do you have to drag me along?" said Kyon with a frown.

"Because I'm a princess and I need to take a servant with me. Besides, nobody will notice if you're gone. You're just an insignificant guard anyway. By the way, what's your name?" said Haruhi.

"Kyon."

"See? If you weren't insignificant, you wouldn't have a stupid name such as Kyon."

Kyon opened his mouth to retaliate, but closed it once he realized that the insensitive young lady did have a point there. And so, for some reason he himself does not completely understand, he reluctantly agreed to come along with Princess Oddity. It was as though God forced him upon this mission.

Anyway, after releasing Kyon from the chains, began the extraordinary adventure of the almighty Princess Haruhi and her frowning from-guard-demoted-to-servant Kyon…

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© Mademoiselle X


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